


Realisations

by LadyAnneNeville



Series: Sophie Arding- Firefighter Extraordinare [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Unplanned Pregnancy, graphic descriptions of miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAnneNeville/pseuds/LadyAnneNeville
Summary: Self indulgent hurt/comfort fic about my original character Sophie Arding. I have written a few of these and they will be a series when I get around to posting them.Sophie is the candidate at Firehouse 51 after Ritter. She keeps her head down and does good work but is reticent with her colleagues and seems wary of letting herself form bonds that are too deep. When she deals with a personal tragedy two months into her time as candidate will she be able to open up enough to accept help?
Relationships: Matthew Casey & Sophie Arding, Matthew Casey & Stella Kidd, Stella Kidd & Sophie Arding
Series: Sophie Arding- Firefighter Extraordinare [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052048
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Realisations

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags! This story is about the main character having a miscarriage at eight weeks pregnant and there are graphic descriptions of what she goes through and if this will trigger you, please keep yourself safe and turn back.

Timeline: 2 months into Sophie Arding’s candidacy with engine 81.

Sophie had been having stomach pains all morning, she just put it down to the nausea she’d been having on and off for several weeks now and she attributed the nausea to anxiety about her new job.

Then she felt a wetness and rushed to the bathroom as quickly as she possibly could. The cramps had increased to a point of severe pain but she worked in a house full of men, she couldn’t let on because they would probably be worried at first and then feel embarrassed and she didn’t want to bring that kind of drama into the house.

When she arrived at the toilet she realised she was too late as she pulled down her underwear to see blood. A lot of blood. It looked like a massive clot, bigger than any she had passed before.

Sophie lowered herself to a seat and tried to process what she was seeing. The pain had abated somewhat but kept pulsing back unexpectedly.

She tried to think back, when was her last period? To her horror she concluded that she hadn’t had one since starting to work at the Firehouse. She had never been too regular and the additional irregularity could easily be put down to the stress of the new job, but now, looking at the evidence in front of her, she realised what the most likely cause had been.

Pregnant. Sophie had been pregnant without even realising it. It must have happened just before she and Aiden broke up. Had been pregnant. Past tense. Because now, quite obviously, she wasn’t.

Suddenly her mind flew into a panic. What if they got a call and she was sitting here in pain with blood soaking through her knickers and trousers? What could she do?

Reluctantly her mind went to Stella. She was friends with the more senior firefighter but they weren’t that close yet and this was something very intimate to share. Concluding she had no choice she pulled out her phone.

“Sophie. Why are you ringing me when we’re both on shift together?” Stella asked, sounding bemused.

“Hi Stella, I’m really sorry to bother you with this but…” Sophie paused for a second, unsure how to phrase it without lying or letting on the seriousness of what had just happened, “I had an unexpected arrival just now. Is there any way you could get me the spare pair of pants and underwear from my locker and bring me a pad?” Sophie rushed through the words, trying to keep her distress out of her voice. “I’m in the bathroom.” She added, unnecessarily.

“No worries, I’ve got you covered.” Stella responded, as confident and helpful as ever.  
“Thank you.” Sophie responded, and quickly gave Stella the code to her locker.

A couple of minutes later, Stella was tapping on the stall door. “Hey, I’ve got your stuff.” She said. Sophie looked up, and realised she would have to stand, to get to the door, she gritted her teeth and for ease of movement let her pants and underwear fall down around her ankles. 

“Thank you.” Sophie replied. “I’m just opening the.. Ow.” Sophie was trying to stand but found herself yelping from the pain as another cramp surged through her and she felt more blood slipping out of her vagina, and if she could feel it it probably meant a clot. 

“Sophie? Are you okay.” Stella sounded worried now. Sophie wanted to reassure her but she wasn’t sure she could keep the pain out of her voice so she kept quiet and gritted her teeth while tears ran down her cheeks. When there was no reply, Stella considered her options. There weren’t many.

“Unlock the door. I’m going to come in.” Stella instructed. She refrained from making it an order but she wasn’t asking either. Sophie felt trapped and humiliated but she needed help. Without leaving the toilet she leaned forward as far as she could and with the tips of her fingers slid the latch across into an unlocked position. Stella wasted no time in stepping inside and relocking the door. She took in the scene quickly, the first responder part of her personality kicking into gear.

“You’re white as a sheet and that doesn’t look like a period.” Stella said quietly. While Sophie could often count on Stella to be blunt and honest, she appreciated the effort Stella was making to keep her voice down. Sophie swallowed back her tears and tried to keep her voice as steady as possible.

“I didn’t know, because I was dismissing any of the signs as stress from a new job, I’ve only just put it together, but I think that until this morning I was pregnant. And now I’m not. I think I may have just had a miscarriage, but I can’t be sure because I don’t know that I definitely was pregnant.” Sophie’s breath had started to speed up again and she forced herself to take deep breaths to stave off the panic attack that she knew was probably somewhere down the line today. Stella looked extremely surprised and worried.

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to get changed, I brought you a pad, I don’t think a tampon will help right now, and then we’re going to see Casey. He’s your commanding officer, and you’re not fit for duty right now and he needs to know what’s going on.” Sophie’s cheeks turned bright red.

“Hey, it happens. Casey’s not about to judge you. He looks after his people and I know you’ve seen that.” Stella reassured. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Sophie replied, feeling very small and incompetant. “What if a call comes through before I can talk to the Captain?” She asked.

“If that happens I will run ahead and talk to him for you and you will stay here.” Stella said, sounding firm. “I mean it. You’re white as a ghost. Who knows how much blood you’ve lost and there is no way you are medically fit to go on a call right now.” Sophie let Stella’s words sink in and nodded. Pulling herself together enough to get changed. She balled up the clothing she had been wearing and hesitated, not knowing what to do with them. Stella noticed her uncertainty.

“We’ll stop at your locker on the way to see Casey.” Stella reassured her.

The cramps had diminished into something a lot more manageable, but Sophie still felt very dizzy as she stood up. She waited for a second with her eyes closed for the dizziness to subside.

“Are you sure you’re okay to walk to Casey’s office?” Stella asked.

“I’ll be fine, as long as I don’t need to go from sitting to standing again.” They exited the stall to a thankfully empty bathroom. Sophie washed her hands and they made their way to the Captain’s office, pausing at her locker to stuff the bloodied clothes into a plastic carrier bag.

Casey’s office was empty and for the first time since calling Stella, Sophie sensed the other woman’s uncertainty. Sophie was walking on her own but Stella was hovering beside her just in case she fell. Stella’s gaze fell on the bench outside the Captain’s office. It was officially for people to wait to be admitted but it was never used. She realised Sophie would probably feel weird about waiting in Casey’s office without him so she deposited the younger woman on the bench.

“Just wait here, okay Soph, I’m going to go and find Casey, I’ll be back soon.” Stella held herself back from affectionately brushing the stray lock of hair out of Sophie’s face. Sophie was shaping up to be an excellent firefighter, and at twenty-seven years old she was certainly not a child anymore but being petite and baby faced, sitting there looking frightened for a moment she looked closer to seventeen than twenty-seven. The younger woman was clearly fighting to hold herself together and probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

Stella walked swiftly through the Firehouse, looking for Casey, he wasn’t outside with Severide or running drills or in the common area. 

“Has anyone seen Casey?” She asked the truck guys in the common area. 

“He’s in a meeting with Boden.” Hermann said.

“Thanks.” Stella asked and headed straight for Boden’s office. She had never barged into a meeting between several senior officers before but this was important. She walked straight to the door and knocked twice before opening it. All three men turned to look at her.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I need to borrow Captain Casey. It’s important and urgent, I wouldn’t ask otherwise.” She said, deliberately not looking straight at her boyfriend who looked concerned.

Boden’s gruff irritation softened at the look on her face, and Casey stood up to join her with a ‘be right back, Chief’.

“What’s this about, Kidd?” Casey asked as he strode down the corridor beside her, taken aback at her speed.

“It’s about Arding, Sir.” Stella replied. “There’s been an incident and I don’t think she’s currently medically fit to go on calls.”

“What kind of incident?” Casey asked, bewildered by Stella’s cageyness. Stella looked at her Captain.

“A medical one, Casey.” She replied. “She’s embarrassed, upset, shocked and in pain. I’ve left her waiting outside your office. This needs to remain confidential, need to know only, I won’t even be telling Severide or Stella until Sophie gives permission. I know she’s the candidate, but I need you to be gentle and supportive right now.”

Suddenly the seriousness of the situation came home to Casey who nodded, and headed straight for his office. He faltered slightly, upon seeing the pale and upset face of his new candidate, glancing at Stella who nodded back at him.

Sophie Arding looked up at him, and didn’t say a word. Stella stepped in.

“Do you want me to stay, Sophie?” She asked. Sophie shook her head.

“No, it’s okay. Thank you for all your help.” She said, as polite and formal as ever.

“Let’s take this into my office.” Casey said. He watched as Sophie got up carefully, using the wall for support, she swayed for a moment upon getting upright and he grabbed her by the shoulder’s to support her.

“Whoa.” Casey said, glancing at Stella who was hanging back. “Don’t pass out on me now.” He said.

“I won’t. Don’t worry.” Through her upset and ashen complexion Sophie looked determined. “The process of standing up is making me a little dizzy right now.” Casey remained looking worried as he guided her into the office and sat her at his desk. He closed the door glancing at Kidd retreating to her bunk. Far enough away to give them privacy but close enough that she could come back if needed. Casey appreciated the courtesy.

“You need to tell me what’s going on, Sophie.” He said, trying to be gentle. The candidate nodded, it was clearly taking her a lot of effort to keep her emotions under control.

“How much did Stella tell you?” Sophie asked.

“Only that there had been an incident of a medical nature and that you were not currently fit for duty.” Casey replied.

There was a moment of silence.

“I found out this morning that I was probably pregnant. I wouldn’t have been on active duty if I’d known but any signs I just put down to the stress of starting a new job. I think I may have had a miscarriage, about ten minutes ago. It’s not an emergency, but it’s left me in a little pain and lightheaded so I should probably go home for the rest of the shift. I’m really sorry. I know I’m the candidate and need to be here every time but I don’t think I’d be much help on a call right now.” The moment Sophie finished speaking her eyes darted to her hands which were twisting on her lap.

Casey felt blindsided, memories of Gabby having her miscarriage flooding to the forefront of his mind. He pushed them away. He needed to be a captain right now, and a friend, not whoever he had been back then. His silence must have gone on a moment too long because Sophie spoke again.

“I’m sorry. I don’t have to go home, I can help out in the bullpen for the rest of the shift if you like, I just don’t think I’d be much use on a call right now. Please don’t tell anyone, I don’t want everyone to know what happened.”

“Sophie, I need you to calm down. You’re not in trouble. What happened this morning was not your fault. You are relieved from duty until you are medically cleared to go back to work, but you need to go and see a doctor right now, not straight home, do you understand me? That’s really important, with anything like this there could be unexpected complications and it’s better to check it out now than later. Do you understand me?” Casey asked. Sophie nodded.

“I can get a taxi to the hospital, I cycle here but I don’t think that riding a bike would be a good idea right now.” She spoke. Immediately Sophie felt embarrassed, here she was blurting out nonsense she could barely control to cover her anxiety. Casey shook his head.

“I’ll drive you to the hospital, I’ll get Hermann, Boden or Severide to cover me for the time it takes.” He reassured her. It didn’t have the desired effect, if anything she looked even more embarrassed to be inconveniencing her boss. He pushed ahead. “I know you want to keep this as confidential as possible, but Chief Boden has to be informed. It won’t go any higher and I can lock the incident as confidential on your file so if you do choose to transfer to another house further down the line, it won’t be flagged, but he needs to be brought into the loop now. No one else in this house will need to know, but Boden needs to be informed. Do you understand me?”  
Sophie nodded.

“Do you want to be the one to tell Boden or shall I do it?” Casey asked. Trying to be as gentle as possible in a situation where he honestly felt out of his depth.

“Please could you tell him; I don’t think I can go through the story again.” Sophie decided. 

“Okay, wait here. I’m going to ask Stella to gather your things from your locker. I’m going to inform Boden and then we’ll leave. Do you want me to pull the blinds so no one bothers you?” Sophie nodded and Casey left, indicating to Stella who had quickly stopped pretending to read that he wanted to speak with her.

“Can you go and gather Sophie’s things from her locker and then go and sit with her?” Casey asked. “I’m going to inform Boden of the situation.”

Casey returned to the meeting he’d left.

“Is Kidd’s urgent situation resolved?” Boden asked.

“Not exactly.” Casey said. “Sorry Severide but this is a confidential matter involving my candidate I need to brief Boden on, it can’t wait I’m afraid.” Severide looked confused and a little concerned.

“Sure, no worries.” He left and Boden waited for the door to close before asking.

“Well what is this about?”

“Candidate Arding discovered that she had been pregnant this morning when she experienced what she believed was a miscarriage. The only people who currently know are myself and Kidd and she is understandably upset and wishes to keep the matter as confidential as possible. I think she might still be in shock at what happened because she first asked to be allowed to go home and when I didn’t respond immediately she offered to complete her shift in the bullpen. I want to drive her to the hospital and make sure she gets medical attention. Can you cover me?” Casey asked. Boden looked saddened.

“I can, pass on from me that she is to take all the time she needs to deal with this and at the very minimum, wait until the doctors clear her for duty. Keep your radio on and make sure you continue to update me on her status.” Boden replied.

“Thanks Chief.” Casey responded. 

The trip to the hospital went fairly smoothly, although Sophie seemed less and less coherent as the journey continued. Casey swung Sophie’s backpack up onto his shoulder for her and they began to walk together towards the ER doors. Casey was extremely aware that she was less steady on her feet than she had been at the firehouse and was concerned there may have been another bleed. About thirty feet from the doors she stopped, suddenly, her complexion losing even more colour. She seemed to realise something was going to happen.

“Sophie, are you okay?” Casey asked.

“Sorry.” The young woman murmured before her knees went and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Casey was standing close anyway but darted to wrap an arm around her waist to stop her crashing to the ground and hurt her head. Aware he didn’t want to put any additional pressure on her abdomen he lifted her into his arms with one arm under her knees and the other supporting her upper body. She was a small woman but a completely dead weight. He hurried the last thirty feet into the ER.

“I need some help here.” He called as he walked in and within seconds a team arrived with a gurney. Dr Halstead was taking the lead.

“Twenty-seven year old female with suspected miscarriage suffered around half an hour ago. She was awake and talking, albeit with dizzy spells until a few moments ago when she fainted.” Casey briefed.

“Do you know how far along in the pregnancy she was?” Dr Halstead asked.

“No. Until the miscarriage happened she didn’t realise she was pregnant. She’s the new candidate on my truck.” Dr Halstead looked over at him as they swept the bed into one of the trauma bays calling out stats. Sophie was already coming around.

“Can you keep her awake and talking, Matt?” Halstead asked and Casey moved up to stand above her face. Holding her attention as best he could, trying to engage her with anecdotes about Mouch and Hermann from before she arrived at 51. Talking about the time Severide went to Vegas and came back with a wife, something that was astonishing to the young firefighter as she had only known the version of Severide who was completely committed to Stella Kidd.

He was aware that they were ultrasounding her abdomen behind him but he tried to keep Sophie’s focus, even if it did keep slipping. Then Halstead stepped forward and shone a light in her eyes going through a quick neurological exam.

“Okay, you can rest now Sophie. Do I have your consent to let Captain Casey know what is going on?” Halstead asked. She murmured her assent before her eyes slipped closed and she seemed asleep.

Dr Halstead walked Casey a few steps away from the bed.

“How is she?” Casey asked.

“Physically she will be fine. The main concern is the blood loss and while that is continuing, the bulk of it has already taken place and it is likely to be mostly stopped within the next twelve hours without surgical intervention. It’s a good thing you got her here when she did as we were able to keep her from going into hypovolemic shock. She’s on fluids and we’re transfusing one unit of blood to be on the safe side. We’re going to admit her overnight to monitor in case of complications but if all goes well she should be able to go home in the morning.”

“Complications?” Casey questioned.

“The likelihood is relatively small, it has been a very straightforward miscarriage. The foetal heartbeat probably stopped less than 48 hours ago, and she lost the bulk of the tissue in one go. I’m not worried. Most likely timetable for recovery is we’re putting her on bedrest for a week, and she’ll need to take iron supplements for three months just to guard against anaemia but I expect her blood iron levels to be back to normal within a month. She needs to be off work completely for a fortnight from when she is released from the hospital, but after that she can return to light duties only. The important thing is to make sure she doesn’t lift anything heavier than about eight pounds. We’ll reassess at that point to give her a timetable to be back to full duty. I know she’s a candidate, but she needs to take her recovery as seriously as she takes her training.”

“Got it. I’ll update Chief Boden on the situation and find out whether I’m sticking around here or going back to the Firehouse.” Casey replied. “If I have to go either myself or Kidd will be back later today to check on her.”

An update to Boden later and Casey was heading back to the Firehouse. They had decided to give Sophie a little space and he and Kidd would drop by later to drop off her bag, which he had accidentally carried back out of the hospital and make arrangements to pick her up the next day.

“Give me that.” Stella said as she took the kettle out of Sophie’s hands. She and Casey had brought her back to her, to their surprise, slightly messy studio apartment. Severide was definitely feeling out of the loop but knew not to push. Nonetheless, Stella would try and persuade her to let Severide into the loop, both because he was her boyfriend and also because he was an officer at 51 and it could be useful.

“Actually give me that.” Casey interrupted, removing the kettle. “What kind of tea did you want Sophie?”

“I just wanted to offer you a drink, because you’re being so kind.” Sophie mumbled, feeling a little out of place.

“None of that.” Stella was firm. “51 is a family and we take care of our own. Come on, where do you keep your pyjamas, time to get changed and into bed.” Then paused. “Do you want a shower first?” Sophie turned bright red.

“You don’t need to help me shower.” She mumbled. Stella had a lot of sympathy for her, she remembered being in the frustrating position of needing help with everything after her injury and that was hard enough even with her boyfriend around to help. It must be even harder with colleagues you were just trying to be friends with. But Sophie had been in Chicago less than a year and most of that with her ex boyfriend. She didn’t have anyone close to look after her, her parents and family lived nearly four thousand miles away in the UK and Stella didn’t think they were even aware of the problem.

But practicality won out over empathy, at least a little.

“You’re supposed to be on bed rest for a reason, Sophie. How about this? Take a shower, don’t lock the door and I’ll be outside. If you need help call for me, and if I hear a fall I’m coming in there. I’ll time five minutes from when the water starts and if you’re not out I’ll check on you. You’re dead on your feet, the last thing you need is to faint in the shower”

Sophie’s agreement was reluctant but it was an agreement and ten minutes later she was freshly showered, with hair in a towel turban, in bed in clean sheets. She was so out of it she hadn’t even noticed her sheets had been changed. 

Stella lay in bed next to her on top of the covers, and persuaded her to start a netflix marathon of some sitcom she liked. Casey made himself comfortable on the couch. Within 20 minutes she was asleep. Casey got up and moved around to Stella’s side of the bed to have a quiet conversation.

“I’ll take the sheets to my place and bring them back when they’re washed, I didn’t see laundry facilities here. Do you think Sophie will notice that you’re staying with her for a couple of days?” He asked.

“She’ll notice, but probably not before tomorrow, but she’s far too polite to throw me out, I think.” She whispered. “When she gets up I’ll make sure she drinks plenty of fluids and try to get her to eat something poor kid.”

“Thank you, Stella. She’s lucky to have such a good friend.” Casey stated.

“In return you’re hanging out with Severide so he doesn’t miss me too much.” Stella teased.

“Done.”

Understandably the rest of Firehouse 51 was confused by Sophie’s absence. With permission acquired, Severide had been brought into the loop but only Severide, and Stella knew that Brett was frustrated to be stuck on the outside with this. None of the officers would give any details except that the leave was for medical reasons and all the Firefighter’s were given strict instructions not to ask Sophie about it when she came back. Two shifts into her absence a couple of the men started joking about special treatment because she was a woman. The joking ended the moment Sophie returned to do what ended up being three weeks in the bullpen before returning to active duty.

While at the end of the three weeks she looked almost as fit and healthy as she did before, having been gradually building up her activity levels guided by doctors, at the beginning she walked in having lost around ten pounds from the two weeks at home and noticeably paler than her usual healthy self. She had to deal with Hermann and co being a little more protective than usual over her for far longer than her few weeks in the bullpen, but despite keeping the reason for her absence mostly to herself, she found herself feeling more comfortable with her family at 51 than she ever did before.


End file.
